(no subject)

[sofiaviolet]

Notes

I already have a few ideas of things to post. If there are things you would like me to post about, then prompt me. (No guarantees, since I will be offline for 5+ days, but I will try.)

Questions meme!

blnchflr was the only person to ask questions, so I will point at the poll again. You can ask me up to three things! Less is okay too!

I can has meta? How do you feel about online identities?

Pretty Darn Good. Heh.

I tend to take online identities at face value. I haven't been personally burned by people being other than they claimed, and I've been pretty relentlessly honest (lying only by omission, and omitting mainly for reasons of dullness and personal safety) for the entire time I've been internetting - over a third of my life so far! And my general experience is that others are similarly honest about their real selves.

Are you open about your fandom involvment with your analog life friends and family?

Yes. My mom reads my journal, actually, and has done since 2005 (it was a good way for her to keep up with me while I lived in Atlanta; Dad was also reading for a while but I think he's stopped). And she's kind of in bandom, just not in a fanworks way. And I babble happily about cons without concealing what kinds of cons. Etc.

Furthermore, not only am I out as a fangirl, I managed to convert my boyfriend from kinda-agreeing-with-fanfic-hating-authors to fanworks-are-a-legitimate-endeavor. Not that he actually understands how I do fannishness, but whatever. He now respects fic, and he actually enjoyed the vid show I put together for him (I will post links to those vids in a little bit. EDIT: posted.)

Is there a reason to be very careful about speaking in public in fandom these days, or is it all in my head :o) ?

Depending on what you're talking about... probably. People seem much more willing to have conflicts about more-generally-applicable stuff than they used to be (although the amount of fandom-specific conflict such as ship wars seems to me to have declined massively, and well in advance of the rise of concerns over broader-than-fandom issues within fandom).

Although I have not been seeing as much social justice-related stuff from fandom lately. I am not sure whether A) fandom's output on these topics has declined, B) the output is still there but I'm not seeing it due to less linking and/or less fandom on my reading list, C) fandom's output is getting drowned by the zillion other social justice blogs I started reading because fandom got me interested, or D) some combination of those.

Links

Kink Engineering (probably NSFW) (It's a vacuum companion cube!!!)

commodorified: we now return you to your regularly scheduled rape culture.

So one of my very favourite[1] Rape Culture arguments is:

"So if you're having totally consensual sex with someone and you're both totally into it and she says no just, like, THIRTY SECONDS before you're going to come, you have to STOP."

...

Answer the First: You know, if that happens, something's ACTUALLY GONE WRONG. I don't know what, I'm not there, but it's actually kind of amazing how many ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY PAINFUL AND BAD physical problems women most often discover DUE TO PAIN DURING PIV INTERCOURSE. Ovarian cysts. Ectopic pregnancies. UTIs. Appendicitis, for heaven's sake. Or maybe the lube just quit or the condom is dubious or maybe your choice of angle is really unfortunate or maybe your partner is having an anxiety attack or a flashback or an emotional breakdown ...

...

Answer the Second: This happens to women quite a lot, actually. The Partner Stopping Thirty Seconds Too Soon thing, I mean. Culturally, we're generally encouraged, even pressured, to be good sports about it.

Plans

Finish up my semester (my last semester of undergrad omfg), MCR concert, Capture the Flag in Franklin Park, play party.

Comments

[silverhare]

That was my first experience of being raped by my ex-partner, actually - telling him to stop because it was hurting and him Not Stopping. Guess what, folks? Yep, that's rape. And yes, he expected me to keep going when I was in pain, tired, bored, etc. "Shut up and get on with it" culture still in full swing.

[sofiaviolet]

Yeah, same here. :(

[erika]

I'm not going to comment on the more serious stuff because I don't have the spoons, but of course and especially as a survivor my thoughts are with those who are victims of violence, every day.

But may I steal your poll?

[sofiaviolet]

Yes, you may.

[erika]

Thanks. Sorry to comment something so frivolous!

[sofiaviolet]

No worries! Sometimes that's all you can/want to comment on.

[pinesandmaples]

I Blame the Patriarchy posted a similar sex screed (and it was a screed) several years ago, except hers involved the illustration that one partner was not interested in intercourse anymore and just wanted to go find a taco truck. Not that tacos and sex are the same, but I like the idea of looking at my wife and saying, "Honey, I'm tired of this sex. I'm going to go find a taco truck now." then leaving her completely confused, sitting in bed with her sex hair.

[sofiaviolet]

It's too bad that's not an actual, widely known meme. I'm still trying to figure out how to get revenge for that time my boyfriend rickrolled me immediately after sex.