cheer up, self
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010 21:23![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sofiavioletDaily Song makeups (right-click):
Veruca Salt - Seether (May 8th)
The Pipettes - One Night Stand (May 9th)
Goldfrapp - Slippage (May 10th)
Daily Song (right-click): The Dollyrots - Because I'm Awesome
synecdochic: the ghost in the room, or, why modesty is a dirty fucking word
There are a lot of things I am good at, and a lot of things I do that are awesome. I feel no particular need to list them, and at least a few come up in general blah-blah-this-is-my-life (I am good at my job, for example, and the stuff I do generally isn't done by people with my level of education - there's a reason I call myself an apprentice archivist). I write well. I'm making an effort to contribute to my online community (having - I think - accustomed myself to frequent and at least moderately meaty posts, and having always been pretty zealous about replying to comments, I'm now pushing myself to comment more on other people's stuff).
As far as I can tell, the main limit right now on my level of kickass-doing-of-things is... depression and the learned procrastination, apathy, and lack of action that go along with a lifetime case of dysthymia.
So my options seem to be Add More Meds, Retrain Myself, or Both. Adding more Wellbutrin is... not such a great idea, since last time I tried to take 300mg, my memory stopped functioning (not that it is completely unaffected at 250, but). Retraining myself to take more initiative is hard *whinge* and it's not instant. And it sucks trying to accomplish that kind of retraining during a "down" cycle.
Weirdly, my "crashes" seem to be shifting to later and later in the calendar year. IIRC, my freakout in early 2005 was mostly in February, my freshman year not-going-to-class thing began in Ferbuary and went critical in March, and I'm currently buried under a layer of suck and have been for a couple of weeks. My sleep schedule alone suggests that We Have A Problem Here - it's very similar to the hours I was keeping in early 2007, but with more time spent sleeping. :(
Although really, the sleeping is the main problem - I'm getting on with the rest of my life just fine, even if I am feeling assortedly low, sad, blah, okay, etc.
Basically, nobody worry! I'm just feeling less happy/content than I think I should be - for no apparent reason, which means it is cyclical brain chemical shenanigans.
Veruca Salt - Seether (May 8th)
The Pipettes - One Night Stand (May 9th)
Goldfrapp - Slippage (May 10th)
Daily Song (right-click): The Dollyrots - Because I'm Awesome
synecdochic: the ghost in the room, or, why modesty is a dirty fucking wordThere are a lot of things I am good at, and a lot of things I do that are awesome. I feel no particular need to list them, and at least a few come up in general blah-blah-this-is-my-life (I am good at my job, for example, and the stuff I do generally isn't done by people with my level of education - there's a reason I call myself an apprentice archivist). I write well. I'm making an effort to contribute to my online community (having - I think - accustomed myself to frequent and at least moderately meaty posts, and having always been pretty zealous about replying to comments, I'm now pushing myself to comment more on other people's stuff).
As far as I can tell, the main limit right now on my level of kickass-doing-of-things is... depression and the learned procrastination, apathy, and lack of action that go along with a lifetime case of dysthymia.
So my options seem to be Add More Meds, Retrain Myself, or Both. Adding more Wellbutrin is... not such a great idea, since last time I tried to take 300mg, my memory stopped functioning (not that it is completely unaffected at 250, but). Retraining myself to take more initiative is hard *whinge* and it's not instant. And it sucks trying to accomplish that kind of retraining during a "down" cycle.
Weirdly, my "crashes" seem to be shifting to later and later in the calendar year. IIRC, my freakout in early 2005 was mostly in February, my freshman year not-going-to-class thing began in Ferbuary and went critical in March, and I'm currently buried under a layer of suck and have been for a couple of weeks. My sleep schedule alone suggests that We Have A Problem Here - it's very similar to the hours I was keeping in early 2007, but with more time spent sleeping. :(
Although really, the sleeping is the main problem - I'm getting on with the rest of my life just fine, even if I am feeling assortedly low, sad, blah, okay, etc.
Basically, nobody worry! I'm just feeling less happy/content than I think I should be - for no apparent reason, which means it is cyclical brain chemical shenanigans.
