relevant to my interests

Ahoy there, mateys! In 2026, littlerhymes and I have embarked on a Year of Sail, starting with C. S. Forester’s Mr. Midshipman Hornblower!

(This was apparently not the first Hornblower published, but it is the first chronologically, so we decided to start there.)

In this book we meet Horatio Hornblower, a cool, logical, mathematically talented all-around doofus who gets seasick on his very first row out to his new ship as midshipman. The seasickness fades but the general awkwardness does not, as evidenced in the story where a woman offers to hide dispatches in her petticoats and Hornblower is like: discussing stays? and petticoats? with a woman???? and then there’s a glimpse of her thigh WHERE TO LOOK??????

He’s also almost madly brave, as evidenced in the story where he purposefully climbs aboard a fire ship (that is, a ship that has been purposefully set on fire in order to set other ships ablaze) in order to steer it out of the harbor. Absolute madman. But it’s the logical thing to do, so calmly he goes ahead and does it.

Over the years I’ve osmosed that the Hornblower movies starring Ioan Gruffud are good and also slashy, so I decided that I might as well give them a go too. I watched the first two, then commented to littlerhymes, “These are good but they AREN’T slashy, the internet lied to me.”

“Watch the next movie,” littlerhymes commanded.

HOLY COW.

So in the first movie, Hornblower and company are on their way to a surprise night attack on a French frigate when Hornblower’s friend Mr. Midshipman Kennedy has a seizure. Unable to think of any other way to keep him quiet, Hornblower knocks him over the head, which means that they have to leave him on the jolly boat as the rest of them attack the frigate, and the jolly boat is cast adrift with Kennedy still in it.

In the third movie, Kennedy returns! Specially, Hornblower is TAKEN CAPTIVE by the SPANISH and in his very cell in Spanish prison, he finds Kennedy, who greets him “GO AWAY.”

Then Kennedy turns his face to the wall. He just got out of the punishment cell which is so small that you can neither lie down nor stand up, and he can no longer straighten his legs, and he wants to die.

Naturally Hornblower tenderly nurses him back to health, which involves gently smoothing his lustrous hair from his brow. (The production team clearly threw realism to the winds with the lustrous hair, as I feel strongly that Mr. Midshipman “so depressed he’s trying to starve himself to death” Kennedy would probably not be bothering to comb his hair or indeed shave and would therefore have a beard like Santa Claus.) It does NOT involve climbing into bed with him to warm him with his own body heat, but I feel sure that fanfic has filled in this gap, and if it hasn’t (or even if it has) I might need to commit a little fic for the cause.