It is a very strange certainty for someone with depression - "no matter how much the world around me is falling apart, everything will work out okay for me." Usually better than okay, but I try not to depend on the benevolence too heavily.
It's a sense of well-being born of privilege and a very pleasant childhood, I think. But things do turn out well for me, often in spite of my assorted fail, so the belief gets reinforced.
I have a bright view of human nature, but a dim view of humans' ability to uphold justice when given unchecked power.
I don't think the universe wants me to be happy, or unhappy, I just know I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. (outside of a fun, consensual context, anyhow.)
Yes, that. I would say that specific failing is the bulk of my "people mostly suck" mindset.
I fortify myself as though all people are shitheads but approach them as though they are not shitheads. That way, I am minimally disappointed if they do suck or pleasantly and mildly surprised if they do not suck, and I usually manage to avoid pissing them off because I successfully hid my expectation that they would suck.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 14:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 15:03 (UTC)It is a very strange certainty for someone with depression - "no matter how much the world around me is falling apart, everything will work out okay for me." Usually better than okay, but I try not to depend on the benevolence too heavily.
It's a sense of well-being born of privilege and a very pleasant childhood, I think. But things do turn out well for me, often in spite of my assorted fail, so the belief gets reinforced.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 15:32 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 20:15 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 16:42 (UTC)I don't think the universe wants me to be happy, or unhappy, I just know I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. (outside of a fun, consensual context, anyhow.)
You care :-)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 20:21 (UTC)I fortify myself as though all people are shitheads but approach them as though they are not shitheads. That way, I am minimally disappointed if they do suck or pleasantly and mildly surprised if they do not suck, and I usually manage to avoid pissing them off because I successfully hid my expectation that they would suck.