Just add it to my epic to-do list.

[sofiaviolet]

• I need to reschedule my appointment with the very nice lady who prescribes my anti-crazy pills, because an unexpected conflict has arisen. Fingers crossed I can move it up instead of back - I keep worrying I'm edging towards manic but I have no idea, and at any rate I'm way more jittery than I ought to be. I'm not ridiculously depressed any more, thank fuck, but I'm freaking out all the time instead. I don't know whether to blame my merely so-so compliance (I'm good at remembering the morning dose but not so good at remembering the evening one) or too much medication (the side effects were a heck of a lot more tolerable when I was only taking it in the morning, although there was something slightly off-kilter about it as well, probably because it ran out after 12 hours). ETA: November 5th @ 9:30. Not bad.

• Looking over the assignment for Gender & Society a little more carefully: it says the preliminary bibliography and proposal are due the 26th in bold at the bottom of the page, but it says the 19th within the requirements for the research paper. Therefore I will shoot for the 19th because it's on the safe side and I can use the good academic karma. I have the books for my bibliography picked out; I just need two articles and to write my proposal and I can probably email it to her before class tomorrow. \o/

• Just for reference: voice posts can be 5 minutes long, and Paid and Permanent accounts can make 20 per calendar month (Plus accounts can make 5).

• It's been five weeks and six days since I got my ears pierced. I can has cute earrings!

• My mother sent me a check last week, which I thought was for the utility bill. But she called me this morning and said she was sending another one, specifically for that. So, I am confused. Mom, when you see this, can you comment/call me and remind me what the first check was for? (Add that to the Series of Unfortunate Side Effects: my memory has always been bad and now it's worse.)

Comments

[arrowwhiskers.livejournal.com]

I don't know your situation at all, so this may be completely irrelevant...but when *I* was highly medicated (for panic, which...they give the same medicine for anxiety/depression, so it might be kinda the same thing), I started getting really weird side effects like mood swings and depression (note: the opposite of what I was prescribed it for, which seems to be what you're experiencing), and furthermore, it started occuring not right away(as is typical for side effects), but after I'd been taking medication for almost a year.

What they ended up doing was discussing...not a change in dosage, but a completely different medication altogether. Maybe your medicine isn't really working for you as well as you thought and another one may be a better fit.

I'm sure the drug lady should know better than I would, but you should mention that possibility to her if she doesn't bring it up herself.

[sofiaviolet]

I suppose I shouldn't be as worried as I am - there are definitely real-life events that are contributing. Instead of making the decision not to do stuff I'd love because it's too much work, and feeling sorry for myself, I've made the decision to do stuff I want even if I could easily rationalize myself out of it.

By the time my appointment rolls around, one of those events/decisions will be resolved - the one that's dominating my mind this week - and the other one will be well on its way there. I guess some of my worries come from the fact that I'm not at all used to making smallish decisions on an emotional level (big ones, sure, but not little ones).


This is drug number two, actually - I was on Zoloft over the summer and it did a fat lot of nothing (I had started out at 25 mg and was up to 100 by the time I came back to Boston, with absolutely no change, except a placebo effect of "yay I has meds" that got me through the end of last semester). Something about my experience must have suggested that SSRIs as a class don't work well for me, because rather than "let's try $otherSSRI" I got "here's something completely different."

Wellbutrin worked pretty well with reasonable side effects when I was just taking 100 mg/day, but you're supposed to take the sustained-release form twice a day because it only lasts 12 hours, therefore 200 mg/day, which seems to be too much for me. Googling suggests that the extended release (once a day form) comes in a handy 150 mg size, so I'd want to give that a shot before switching to something else entirely. (I seem to be very sensitive to bupropion - the target adult dose for most people is 300 mg and it's rated up to 450, and if I tried to take that much I'd probably jump right out of my skin.)