picked a handful of violets in my name

It's link time.

2011-03-23T01:42:02Z

Yes Means Yes: Mythcommunication: It’s Not That They Don’t Understand, They Just Don’t Like The Answer

I just read a paper from the discipline of conversation analysis. It dovetails nicely with what I wrote in Talking Past Each Other, and I’m going to go through some of the findings (I can’t redistribute the paper itself), and talk about some conclusions. Long story short: in conversation, “no” is disfavored, and people try to say no in ways that soften the rejection, often avoiding the word at all. People issue rejections in softened language, and people hear rejections in softened language, and the notion that anything but a clear “no” can’t be understood is just nonsense. First, the notion that rape results from miscommunication is just wrong. Rape results from a refusal to heed, rather than an inability to understand, a rejection. Second, while the authors of the paper say that this makes all rape prevention advice about communicating a clear “no” pointless, I have a different take. Clear communication of “no” isn’t primarily going to avoid miscommunication — rather, it’s a meta-message. Clear communication against the undercurrent that “no” is rude and should be softened is a sign of the willingness to fight, to yell, to report.

sasha_feather: The Power of the Right Metaphor

The presenter, whose name I unfortunately do not recall, let the discussion go on for a bit before stopping it. She said, and I paraphrase, "All of the medical details can get confusing and upsetting, so I like to use a metaphor. Imagine you are caring for your elderly grandmother. It's difficult to get her up and down the stairs and into the tub because she is a tall woman. So, to fix this problem, you decide to cut off her legs to make her smaller."

Alt.Share

Alt.Share is an unconference on April 3rd, 12:30pm-4:30pm at the Boston University Women’s Resource Center based on the idea that sexuality affects all aspects of life and that anyone with the desire to learn has the right to do so and has something to contribute to this open environment.

elusis: Privilij denyin kitteh has invisibul knapsak

The Curvature: Louisiana Law Forces Many Sex Workers to Register as Sex Offenders

Because of the way that sex workers are generally made vulnerable to violence, as well as the ways that prisoners face frequent sexual assault, the most callous part of this practice may be the fact that such large numbers of those forced to register as sex offenders for non-violent offenses are victims of sexual violence themselves. Most of the women and men profiled in these articles talk about having been raped, whether as adults or children, whether by clients or family members, by prison guards or fellow prisoners. They must register as sex offenders, be unable to find employment or residences, face harassment and assault, and bear scarlet letters on their identification while at the same time, probably all of their actual rapists do not have to do the same. They have not only been raped, but been given their rapists’ punishments. They have not only been raped, but told that they are like, or perhaps worse than, their actual rapists.

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neatening up

2011-03-21T01:06:17Z

Spent a decent chunk of time this weekend cleaning my room and getting rid of (or at least prepping to get rid of) stuff. Of course, I also went to Good Vibes after work on Friday and bought new toys, and South Bay yesterday... Heh. Yes.

My biggest mess is probably my clothes. For one thing, I don't put out-of-season clothes into storage; it's all in my closet all the time. I've also been the same size since at least my junior year of high school, which was six years ago. My wardrobe looks like identical triplets with very different tastes. Et cetera.

The cleaning is partly to have a clean room yay, partly so there is floor to unfold the futon onto whenever I next have houseguests of any sort, and partly so there is space for furniture rearranging.

I think that, on Tuesday (my one totally empty weekday), I will go around to various thrift stores and look for kickass vintage suitcases, since I've decided that's how I want to store all my *ahem* toys when I'm not actually using them. (If I strike out, I will buy one from teh internets, but I would like to avoid shipping charges.)

Bleeding Cool: Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Being Adapted To Crime-Of-The-Week Mystery TV Series

Prime Focus Productions, the people behind the upcoming Good Omens TV series and the three existing Discworld miniseries, have commenced development on a new, ongoing show. This one will revolved around the City Watch police force of Terry Pratchett‘s vibrant fantasy city, Ankh-Morpork. It’s an amazing location, as vividly described in the fantasist-satirist’s series of 38-going-on-39 Discworld novels.

trouble: Disability History Wiki to share with your friends!

This multimedia website profiles the experiences of some of the key leaders in the developmental disabilities movement from 1845 through the present through historical trends and public and professional perceptions. This includes the evolving context of acceptance of and services available to persons with disabilities, the features of effective leadership, and the different styles of leadership required for sustainable change.

wiresandlights: comm for the union-related link roundups that lireavue and kittydesade have previously been posting to their personal journals

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6 links

2010-12-08T01:01:55Z

The Hathor Legacy: It’s just a show. Really?

The truth is, pop culture is not just fun and games, and that’s why “It’s not just a show” is bullshit. Culture – and current culture has always been pop culture, and always will be – is the medium through which the privileged people educate all the other sorts of people on how they are supposed to behave so as to inconvenience the privileged the least they can with their undesirable yet necessary presence. I really am supposed to not only like flowers, but to accept them in lieu of kept promises and fidelity – not because it’s on TV but because that would be ever so convenient for uncaring and cheating men. What the person who criticizes me for diverging from TV portrayals of my gender is really saying is: “Don’t you know this is your responsibility? Even if you don’t like flowers, you still need to like the damn flowers because men need their women to be plug ‘n’ play, easily replaced! Men have nations to conquer and important things to do. They can’t be bogged down with trying to remember what each new current girlfriend likes, which is why it’s so crucial you all like exactly the same shit! Jeez, you selfish bitch!”

16 Impacts of Sexual Assault

As a victim of sexual assault I have had my life turned upside down, my beliefs and hopes decimated and my sense of self devastated. In trying to make sense of what happened to me, I have struggled overwhelmingly with a sense of isolation, fragmentation and dislocation. Despite reporting the assault to the police, despite excellent counselling and support services and despite an extraordinarily patient and supportive family, I have often felt unable to articulate, or be heard on, the devastation and upheaval that sexual assault continues to create for me everyday.

Dopp Juice: A Genderplayful Marketplace – Do you want it?

I want to build an online marketplace for gender-variant clothing solutions.

Not a store where I sell to you, but a service like Etsy and Ebay where we sell to each other, in a focused, supportive community. And while we’re at it, we also trade all sorts of tips and inspirations on how best to look the way we want, gender-be-damned.

synecdochic: Tip for chronic-pain issues

If you have chronic pain of the muscle/stiffness sort, or suffer from muscle cramps in the middle of the night that wake you, start sleeping with an unwrapped bar of soap in bed with you.

laughingrat: (no subject)

One wonders where Marc Lepine got the idea, in 1989, that he was entitled to go to engineering school regardless of his lack of qualifications, but that women who were qualified to go were not similarly entitled. One wonders where he got his tremendous sense of privilege, his tremendous sense of outrage, and the idea that if he, a man, was sufficiently angry at women, the acceptable answer was to terrorize and murder them.

copperbadge: (no subject)

To sum up: when people ask you for money, be critical. Know who's getting your money, know what they believe, and if you can't get hard facts, be suspicious. Most charities are listed on charitynavigator.org and have a website; they will have mission statements and should have financial information.

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link backlog

2010-12-02T00:44:32Z

( links )

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links

2010-11-22T01:56:46Z

( 6 links )

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NANANANANANANANA

2010-09-22T23:07:42Z

Notes

I've created a character for ~~LARPing in the desert~~ participating in the MCR/Killjoys shenanigans. If this is relevant to your interests, check out the Violet Menace on Twitter, tumblr, and Dreamwidth.

Links

rydra_wong: So, yeah
brenden's now-deleted sockpuppet trolling of the news post included taunting a user about having Asperger's.
thedivinegoat: "Can I talk to you" Troll redux
Just a heads up, the "Can I talk to you" Troll seems to have increased his activity again, only this time is taking advantage of the Facebook Connect.

I'm still updating the original post with any new pseudonyms that come to light, if you or any of your friends have come across new ones, please let me know.
Social/Justice
Solomon's threat is the threat of fairness; Solomon's justice is that he restores right human relationships. Justice is not measured by a pattern -- of uniformity or otherwise -- *or* by a fair process which must logically produce fair results. Justice occurs only when it supports just human relationships. It doesn't matter how fair the process, if a beggar starves while a rich man feasts *this is not justice*, because justice is about having the right human relationships. "Social justice", in my thinking, is a concept of justice that is still focussed, as of old, not on who has the "stuff", but on the relationships between people that the "stuff" (money, property) is tracking. We need a modifier because "justice" unadorned now refers to the process of law, e.g. in "Department of Justice".
copperbadge: THE .DOC FILE OF J ALFRED PRUFROCK
This morning I was asked to change my password on my work computer, as I must do every four months. And I sat there waiting for it to authorise my new password, and I thought, I have measured out my life in login codes.

And, as it so often does, then my brain screwed me out of several hours of productivity.
skalja: An experiment in translation.
O Hai Just FYI

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sofiaviolet @ 2010-09-10T19:21:00

2010-09-10T23:23:27Z

Recently

I bought more fiber! Only a few batts, though, and none of them were very expensive. Still need to learn ALL the steps for knitting projects, not just the part in the middle.

And I was chattering about Dreamwidth to Cory, and he started asking questions, and now I think I may have recruited his entire D&D group. Or at least him, for the purpose of a D&D blog. I foresee some unofficial Support work in my future...

Follow Friday

britcoms
Anything and everything relating to British comedies is welcome there (reviews, news, favourite clips, fanfiction, discussions about actors' other projects, and anything else I've forgotton to mention). The only no-no is filesharing of full-length, commercially available episodes; otherwise, join in and have fun!
aslinterpreters

fleecefiberyarn

Links

Disabled Feminists: Normalising Accessibility
Having accessibility notes does not create universal access. But it’s certainly a step in the right direction, of getting people to think beyond ‘special treatment‘ by positioning accessibility as something broadly relevant to most people, and something of equal importance as ‘who, what, where, when, why, and how.’ Which, for many of us, it is.
melannen: (no subject) [poll]
When I am talking about the novels, animated series, comics, web extras, role-playing games, audio dramas, and so on that are authorized by a particular fandom's owners but are not part of main canon, I call them:
emceeaich: Stay Alive
Many of our friends, family, and loved-ones who don't are constantly told, implicitly and explicitly, that they have no value, and ending one's life can be alluring. Fighting injustice is part of preventing suicide.
foxfirefey in lj_refugees: PayPal conduit offer
Somebody's comment on the last post made me feel like I should make an offer to be a PayPal conduit for people who can't pay Dreamwidth in other ways. I'll do this for at least two weeks from the date of this post.

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yawns

2010-09-04T03:09:02Z

Recently

I've been following the latest LJwtf and going to work, pretty much. Managed to wear a skirt today, and I think every single person I work with complimented it.

( Follow Friday )

Links

( 7 links )

Plans

Get rained on and blown about. Hope the power stays on long enough to to chat with C. for a good long while. Drive up to NH with Ellie and shadesong for the art retreat, and catch the bus back. Drag Ellie to see Scott Pilgrim, get groceries, and pick up the hair stuff I forgot last week. Make attempt number 4 at purple hair: bleach a thick streak and purple it, then update the rest to black.

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This whole "more regular posting" thing is going so well, don't you think?

2010-08-03T05:42:11Z

Notes

Yeah, I know. But getting used to the full-time job has been really rough this time around. IDK.

The BARCC Blogathon auctions are running through 2010-08-03, 17:00 Eastern.

Recently

Work was fun today. In that special way where my eyes aren't used to contacts yet and I spent the whole day using a computer, and also in the way where one of the door alarms was going off pretty much all day because it was broken.

I was supposed to go to a concert tonight, but I just could not manage it. :( I napped instead. After I write this post, I'm going to go back to bed.

Signs I am tired: I am trying to read my dreamroll using ?ship=300. /o\

Retail Therapy

I ordered some stuff from Fire Mountain Gems over the weekend, and it shipped today. \o/ So that'll be here next Monday, approximately. Unfortunately, I can't bring my travel jewelry kit to Grand Forks. I don't think the TSA would approve of my pliers. :( :( :( Plus I am only bringing a carry-on. DNW to pay stupid fee for checked bag.

Interactive!

Ask Me Anything: You get to ask me any one question. Any question, which I will answer to the best of my ability without violating anyone else's privacy. I am the only person who can see the poll responses.

View Poll: #4000

( 4 links )

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Not dead.

2010-07-19T04:53:53Z

I promise I will update with actual things from my life! Some time later today (as it is now technically Monday).

But for now, the links: ( 10 links )

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liiiiiiiiiiiiinks

2010-07-11T00:52:12Z

( 13 links )

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linkity

2010-07-08T03:41:47Z

( 15 links )

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Today I cleaned all the things.

2010-07-05T01:15:06Z

And by that, I mean I Organized All The Books. Next step is to get them into LibraryThing.

Ellie suggests that the best place to hole up during the zombie apocalypse is a strip mall with a home improvement store and a Super WalMart that share an interior wall. Then you have materials for fortifications from the home improvement store, plus food and guns from WalMart. Just knock a hole through the interior wall and you're golden.

But if you have to choose, pick the WalMart and use random merchandise to block the doors. Ellie suggests filling shopping carts with slashed-open diapers and watering them to create a kind of sandbag thing.

( links on art, accessibility, fandom secrets, site culture, and podfic )

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sofiaviolet @ 2010-07-02T22:57:00

2010-07-03T03:13:23Z

Helped four statues and a balloon clown move house yesterday!

It went pretty well - in spite of having to make two trips, the Uhaul got returned on time. And Ellie came by with the Subaru Wonder Wagon for physical assistance (being a person of greater upper body strength than, say, my puny self), transportation of items smaller than mattresses, and the driving from A to B of the five cats.

Injuries sustained by me: cardboard rash on my palms and the insides of my arms, two parallel paper cuts on my left wrist, at least three separate bruises on my left knee. And of course my muscles are Not Pleased, but that is why we have pain relievers. Oh, and we dropped a dry sink on my foot heading down the stairs at the old place. Thank god for my boots, because although it hurt at the time, there's no evidence of it today.

Then I went to work today! Only for the remaining few hours I could earn actual money for, but still. Ow to slinging boxes of documents and photos after that.

And tonight we had Cid and Jason over for dinner. Alfredo sauce, ravioli, olive oil and bread.

( links )

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links links links

2010-06-30T01:56:33Z

( links that are not about fandom )
( links that are about fandom )

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link catch-up

2010-06-25T01:10:46Z

( 18 links )

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picked a handful of violets in my name

It's link time.

neatening up

6 links

link backlog

links

NANANANANANANANA

Notes

Links

sofiaviolet @ 2010-09-10T19:21:00

Recently

Follow Friday

Links

*yawns*

Recently

Links

Plans

This whole "more regular posting" thing is going so well, don't you think?

Notes

Recently

Retail Therapy

Interactive!

Not dead.

liiiiiiiiiiiiinks

linkity

Today I cleaned all the things.

sofiaviolet @ 2010-07-02T22:57:00

links links links

link catch-up

yawns