sofiaviolet: stone steps with moss (stone steps)
Made my first improvement to my Shadowrun character on Monday: acquired the Longarms skill at rating 2, so she can use a sniper rifle. Further away from the NPCs you're trying to kill means less chance they can lodge bullets in you. (This Monday, I need to actually buy the sniper rifle, and talk to Daly about initiation and Adept powers.)

Did my first survivor speech on Wednesday night. I drafted the full length of what I wanted to say in my paper journal a couple of times on Tuesday and Wednesday. When I went to actually give the speech, it just kind of happened (and I don't think I talked too fast or went over my allotted time). *sigh* Now that that's done, I am no longer wound up so tightly my spine's range of motion is obstructed, which I very much appreciate.

After work yesterday, I got lunch at Ghazal (where they now remember I like plain naan with my lunch buffet, I am there so frequently) and then went to the thrift stores on Centre Street. I got sweaters and glassware. Sweaters because I need warm things that are more professional than hoodies (which is a really low bar to set); one of them is argyle but none of them are cardigans because pullovers seem much more common and I an super-picky about my cardigans. Glassware is for terrariums and aquariums: Ellie's potted herb garden died a while back, so I am going to replace the rosemary, basil, and thyme with live moss terrariums (since they need less sun and there's no window in our apartment that gets much of that, particularly in winter). And I want some marimo balls to keep in my bedroom.

(Ellie mocks my desire for pet protists. I figure they're just the right amount of maintenance and attention for me to keep them alive.)

Any advice on super-low-maintenance, low-light houseplants welcome.

oops

Saturday, November 12th, 2011 18:41
sofiaviolet: xkcd stick figure falling flat on their face, with a FWOMP sound effect (*fwomp*)
Made a rather small error in reading comprehension a few weeks ago (thought a primary source was from Corporate Body X, whose records have been digitized, but actually it was Corporate Body Y, whose records don't even have complete online finding aids), procrastinated on an assignment, and only discovered my error at the eleventh hour. I would have been massively sunk were it not for my kind-hearted parents, who went to the repository the very same day I called them in full freakout mode, and took photos of some very old documents for me.

Best parents ever, y/y? I am totally buying them a nice dinner when I go home for the holidays.

***

In other news, I wish to remind folks that I like to send holiday cards around this time of year! (Not that I have mailed any just yet, but I have loads of time.) I'm happy to send cards anywhere USPS will let me, and I am also happy to send you a card even if you're not doing your own "mail stuff to people from the internet" thing.

***

I have a speaking engagement later this month at my undergraduate institution - in my old dorm, no less. I'm not really nervous about it yet, but I'm sure I will be. I will probably do some practicing in the mirror, since I haven't done the full speech since I was trained over the summer.

ramble

Sunday, July 17th, 2011 20:31
sofiaviolet: xkcd stick figure falling flat on their face, with a FWOMP sound effect (*fwomp*)
I came down with a cold on Thursday, and the worst of it has cleared out - just in time for the uterine gremlins to awaken. On the bright side, my period should be over before my sex life picks up again. (The cramps seem to be less severe in terms of actual muscle pain, but they're sharper and more symmetrical and more clearly focused on my uterus.)

A few weeks ago, we installed some new shelves in my room (there will be so. many. holes to patch when we move out, but it is worth it in the meantime), and as a result, I rearranged all the books - well, all my books and the shared-custody books; I do not mess with the order of the engineering/woodworking/etc things because they are definitely Not Mine. And I discovered that I had space for MOAR BOOKS!!!!11!1! even with some of the shelf space being reserved for display of tchotchkes. This is very exciting and I am using it as an excuse to buy things off my wishlist. (But I have to save space for books that are still in New Orleans. I only plan to retrieve a fraction of them, the rest being novels I don't want to read again and things left over from my Stereotypical Teenage Wiccan Phase, but a fraction of 400 is still a significant number.)

Two links that both come with trigger warnings (and lengthy blockquotes):
Read more... )
sofiaviolet: art nouveau rose (rose nouveau)

Notes

... oops? Kind of fell off the face of the earth there. I've been fine, just busy.

Question

For how many days after having an IUD inserted can one expect to have cramps? (IUD went in Tuesday evening. By Friday, I was down from NSAIDs-like-clockwork to NSAIDs-as-needed, but I'm still having to take something at least once a day. Seems to still be in place and I have had no bleeding/spotting whatsoever, so I am not worried, just annoyed.)

Training

Survivor Speakers Bureau )

Links

four: attraction, sexism, privacy, appropriation )

Plans

None for tonight; weekly Battletech got canceled due to GM illness. Tomorrow I have a few errands to run after work. I also have room-cleaning and furniture-moving to do before my mom arrives on Saturday.
sofiaviolet: MS Paint person with fist raised, with text: "<strong>fight all the oppressions!</strong>" (fight all the oppressions!)

Recently

MCR show in Boston was great! I was one person back but used a couple of crowd surges during Thursday's set and the break before MCR to wedge myself into a little opening on the barrier. Ellie came late, so we met up afterward and went to IHOP because we were both starving. (I had to bail on [personal profile] tuesdaysgone and skip the Philly show because I was so exhausted, and because some combination of lights/noise/hunger gave me a terrible headache.)

Boston Slutwalk! I met up with a bunch of people I know mainly via Mob. We marched (super powerful experience! Almost an altered state, with an abnormal boost to my lung capacity akin to what I experience at concerts), there were some amazing speeches (finally got to hear [livejournal.com profile] shadesong give a survivor speech. I put myself at the front of the crowd pretty much directly in front of her, because she had posted about feeling stressed about this particular speech and I wanted to guarantee a known-friendly face in case that would help), and then it started raining, so I went with two friends to the workshop space, where we took the responsibility of setting up chairs and enjoyed some relaxation time. I stayed for three workshops before I had to bail for food.

[community profile] thefridayfive

questions about love and marriage )

Plans

I need to pack tomorrow. On Monday, I fly into Baltimore (arriving around 3:15). Concert Tuesday, then back to Boston on Wednesday.

I am not thinking about August until I get back from D.C. (I cannot; I am too scatterbrained to hold that many plans in my head at once), but I am determined to celebrate our anniversary either by dragging Cory to Boston or schlepping myself to Grand Forks again, which involves lots of scheduling and stalking the internet for best airfare.

(no subject)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011 21:34
sofiaviolet: *sigh* (sigh)

Recently

Hearing on sexual assault on college campuses at City Hall today. There was a rally beforehand that I missed because I couldn't find it (stupid circus taking over City Hall Plaza *pout*).

21 Days of Dreamwidth

day 2 )

Plans

Write a little more of my music paper tonight (it's about half done) or write the last short paper for my other class. Work tomorrow morning, then finish the music paper (and write the other one, if I don't get to it tonight).

(no subject)

Thursday, April 7th, 2011 08:25
sofiaviolet: drawing of violets in multiple shades of purple (bunch of violets)
  • [personal profile] helens78: pondering... grainfest?
    Rumor has it that DW is going to be offering seed accounts again. For those of us who don't want one, can't afford $200 for one right now, or already have one, would there be any interest in some kind of parallel fundraising endeavor? We could use the term "grain" instead of "seed" (similar connotation, similar potentially-organic vegan term!), and make icons saying we're going after GRRRRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSS, and... okay, really I just think the idea of dreamsheep zombies saying GRRRRRAAAAIIIINNNSSS is hysterical, but seriously, I think it could be a fun project.
  • What Privilege?: Non-survivor privilege and silence
    Those of us who’ve experienced abuse, rape and other violations don’t keep it quiet because we’re ashamed. Or because it’s intensely personal. The main reason we keep it quiet is because we know how you’ll treat us if we tell you. We know you have a culturally-granted privilege to remain ignorant. To not know, and therefore not to be responsible. Not to bother. Not to think about it.
  • And Dreamwidth's hosting provider will be performing maintenance over the weekend. They estimate 15 minutes of downtime for Dreamwidth during a 6-hour window.
    sofiaviolet: pocket watches (steampunk)
  • Pack for Muskrat Jamboree
  • Attend MJ
  • Write capstone paper
  • Create 30-45 minute presentation for music seminar
  • Edit capstone paper
  • Write a few more blog entries for The Networked Society
  • Write two short papers for TNS
  • Write paper for music seminar
  • Possibly make Shiny Thing(s) to try and give to MCR after one of their shows
  • Go and see MCR a bunch of times
  • Remember to take my meds consistently (essential if all of the above is to get done, get done well, and get done on time)

  • And here are a few links for today:
    Read more... )

    It's link time.

    Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011 21:39
    sofiaviolet: boots with someone's feet in them (boots)
  • Dogs of the 9th Ward dog rescue

  • Yes Means Yes: Mythcommunication: It’s Not That They Don’t Understand, They Just Don’t Like The Answer
    I just read a paper from the discipline of conversation analysis. It dovetails nicely with what I wrote in Talking Past Each Other, and I’m going to go through some of the findings (I can’t redistribute the paper itself), and talk about some conclusions. Long story short: in conversation, “no” is disfavored, and people try to say no in ways that soften the rejection, often avoiding the word at all. People issue rejections in softened language, and people hear rejections in softened language, and the notion that anything but a clear “no” can’t be understood is just nonsense. First, the notion that rape results from miscommunication is just wrong. Rape results from a refusal to heed, rather than an inability to understand, a rejection. Second, while the authors of the paper say that this makes all rape prevention advice about communicating a clear “no” pointless, I have a different take. Clear communication of “no” isn’t primarily going to avoid miscommunication — rather, it’s a meta-message. Clear communication against the undercurrent that “no” is rude and should be softened is a sign of the willingness to fight, to yell, to report.
  • [personal profile] sasha_feather: The Power of the Right Metaphor
    The presenter, whose name I unfortunately do not recall, let the discussion go on for a bit before stopping it. She said, and I paraphrase, "All of the medical details can get confusing and upsetting, so I like to use a metaphor. Imagine you are caring for your elderly grandmother. It's difficult to get her up and down the stairs and into the tub because she is a tall woman. So, to fix this problem, you decide to cut off her legs to make her smaller."
  • Alt.Share
    Alt.Share is an unconference on April 3rd, 12:30pm-4:30pm at the Boston University Women’s Resource Center based on the idea that sexuality affects all aspects of life and that anyone with the desire to learn has the right to do so and has something to contribute to this open environment.
  • [livejournal.com profile] elusis: Privilij denyin kitteh has invisibul knapsak

  • The Curvature: Louisiana Law Forces Many Sex Workers to Register as Sex Offenders
    Because of the way that sex workers are generally made vulnerable to violence, as well as the ways that prisoners face frequent sexual assault, the most callous part of this practice may be the fact that such large numbers of those forced to register as sex offenders for non-violent offenses are victims of sexual violence themselves. Most of the women and men profiled in these articles talk about having been raped, whether as adults or children, whether by clients or family members, by prison guards or fellow prisoners. They must register as sex offenders, be unable to find employment or residences, face harassment and assault, and bear scarlet letters on their identification while at the same time, probably all of their actual rapists do not have to do the same. They have not only been raped, but been given their rapists’ punishments. They have not only been raped, but told that they are like, or perhaps worse than, their actual rapists.
  • sofiaviolet: photo of a bird (birds for brains)
    Turbo developed chronic kidney disease; Mom and Dad brought him in yesterday. He always loved going to the vet, especially when we were going on vacation so he got to stay there for a few days and have lots of social interaction. He got to hang out with one of his favorite vet techs yesterday. He was big for a Jack Russell - we thought he'd be smaller because we saw him alongside a bunch of Golden Retriever puppies - and he was never very healthy (allergic to people, other dogs, and out pre-Katrina lawn). But my mother still has three or so feral cats to look after, so that's something.

    I've also realized that I am experiencing some twitchiness about my relationship, and engaging in some (logical but still not healthy) sabotaging behaviors. Not ready to blog about it, I don't think.

    I'll be back in New Orleans in less than a month. I'm supposed to be working on my extended bibliography because I'm meeting with my advisor again on Wednesday, but today is just not the day for getting anything done. I made myself a sandwich and I sorted my stuff from the clean laundry and put it away. The rest of my day has been playing a silly little puzzle game over and over, and leaving a chat window open with Cory on the other end. It's comforting.

  • Quizzical Pussy: Legacy
    I’m still a beaten girlfriend somewhere deep down.

    I’m realizing who profoundly affected I really am by it all, to this day. My self-esteem was never great to begin with, but staying in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for years trained even that scant confidence out of me. And while, believe it or not, I’ve scraped a fair amount back for myself, if we’re making comparisons, I can’t escape the learned worthlessness that was my liturgy for so long.
  • Shakesville: My Point, Here It Is
    When I ask a person not to engage in rape apologia in this space, because it is my space and I have not only not consented to host rape apologia here, but have also explicitly and repeatedly deemed it off-limits, and that person continues to engage in rape apologia nonetheless, without regard for my boundaries or personal autonomy, that's not exactly someone who's demonstrating a commitment to the notions of consent, autonomy, and respect.

    That's someone who's leveraging the values of a rape culture to violate my boundaries.

    That's someone who's acting like a fucking rapist.
  • Boston Area Rape Crisis Center Blog: Community Conversations
    Rape is different than other types of violent crime. In my mind, rape is a lot like a hate crime, targeted at a particular group in order to scare and intimidate them. The reason we punish hate crimes differently than other crimes is because they affect the behavior of more than one person. An assault is always bad; we don't, as a society, condone assault (at least I hope we don't). But an assault perpetrated against a member of a particular community, let's say, or against a person of a particular ethnic background and infused with the intent to intimidate and scare everyone else who shares that background causes a lot more ripples than an assault that doesn't have that motivation. I can be scared of crime when I leave my house, but I'm not afraid that someone will specifically target me because of my gender or race. I don't have to worry that someone, seeking to work out their own misogyny or racism will choose to do violence on my body to satisfy their own issues. If I did, you'd better bet that it would change my behavior. I'd be a whole hell of a lot more careful about what I said, where I went, and how I acted.
  • [personal profile] thingswithwings: how to defend against accusations of hating queers
    Anyway, this is just a rambling list of examples, but I guess I'm listing them just because it frustrates me so much, the way these creators are all huge fucking cowards who aren't brave enough to write a queer character into their children's book, their tv show, their novel; huge fucking cowards who blame the episode running long or the whims of the story itself (the story just never went there! it's like novels are magical creatures with self-determined lives of their own and not texts written by people!) for the fact that queerness is reduced to subtextual or extratextual appearances; huge fucking cowards who will use this not-quite-queer not-quite-not-queer kind of character to simultaneously protect themselves from criticism (if Dumbledore's not gay in the actual book, then his unrequited love for a monster isn't problematic) and protect themselves from the accusation that they fail to include queers. It's a giant pile of bullshit.
  • 6 links

    Tuesday, December 7th, 2010 19:21
    sofiaviolet: animated Hello Kitty-as-Cthulhu (Hello Cthulhu)
  • The Hathor Legacy: It’s just a show. Really?
    The truth is, pop culture is not just fun and games, and that’s why “It’s not just a show” is bullshit. Culture – and current culture has always been pop culture, and always will be – is the medium through which the privileged people educate all the other sorts of people on how they are supposed to behave so as to inconvenience the privileged the least they can with their undesirable yet necessary presence. I really am supposed to not only like flowers, but to accept them in lieu of kept promises and fidelity – not because it’s on TV but because that would be ever so convenient for uncaring and cheating men. What the person who criticizes me for diverging from TV portrayals of my gender is really saying is: “Don’t you know this is your responsibility? Even if you don’t like flowers, you still need to like the damn flowers because men need their women to be plug ‘n’ play, easily replaced! Men have nations to conquer and important things to do. They can’t be bogged down with trying to remember what each new current girlfriend likes, which is why it’s so crucial you all like exactly the same shit! Jeez, you selfish bitch!”
  • 16 Impacts of Sexual Assault
    As a victim of sexual assault I have had my life turned upside down, my beliefs and hopes decimated and my sense of self devastated. In trying to make sense of what happened to me, I have struggled overwhelmingly with a sense of isolation, fragmentation and dislocation. Despite reporting the assault to the police, despite excellent counselling and support services and despite an extraordinarily patient and supportive family, I have often felt unable to articulate, or be heard on, the devastation and upheaval that sexual assault continues to create for me everyday.
  • Dopp Juice: A Genderplayful Marketplace – Do you want it?
    I want to build an online marketplace for gender-variant clothing solutions.

    Not a store where I sell to you, but a service like Etsy and Ebay where we sell to each other, in a focused, supportive community. And while we’re at it, we also trade all sorts of tips and inspirations on how best to look the way we want, gender-be-damned.
  • [personal profile] synecdochic: Tip for chronic-pain issues
    If you have chronic pain of the muscle/stiffness sort, or suffer from muscle cramps in the middle of the night that wake you, start sleeping with an unwrapped bar of soap in bed with you.
  • [personal profile] laughingrat: (no subject)
    One wonders where Marc Lepine got the idea, in 1989, that he was entitled to go to engineering school regardless of his lack of qualifications, but that women who were qualified to go were not similarly entitled. One wonders where he got his tremendous sense of privilege, his tremendous sense of outrage, and the idea that if he, a man, was sufficiently angry at women, the acceptable answer was to terrorize and murder them.
  • [personal profile] copperbadge: (no subject)
    To sum up: when people ask you for money, be critical. Know who's getting your money, know what they believe, and if you can't get hard facts, be suspicious. Most charities are listed on charitynavigator.org and have a website; they will have mission statements and should have financial information.
  • (no subject)

    Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 23:57
    sofiaviolet: a pair of sexy red heels on a hardwood floor (red shoes)
    OH GOD FINALLY I AM CAUGHT UP. I only had to go to skip=620 to do it.

    Apologies for my epic failure at updating; I don't like to post when I'm behind on my reading. And speaking of my dreamroll... I am having to cut down on my subscriptions because I am overwhelmed. Bleh full-time job. I love my work, but I also love my internets. It is a sad time for me.

    Important things:

    • Every year, [livejournal.com profile] shadesong does Blogathon for the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center. Her fundraising includes a charity auction; I have three pieces in the mix this year: Chains and Crippling Shoes, We Met in February, and The Awful Feeling of Knowing You Don't Remember No. Plus lots of other really lovely things that you should go and bid on!
    • I am going to Grand Forks! I'll be staying with C. and will also take the opportunity to hang out with Ellen and Greg, since I missed them in New Orleans this year. I am not sure what that will do to my internet time: on the one hand, C. and I will probably be very occupied with each other, but on the other hand, I can easily see us just chilling together with our laptops for a little while every day. At any rate, I will be out of Boston from August 14th to August 21st.
    • Speaking of C., we are now officially in a relationship! We put it on Facebook and everything. Current relationship status is "open" although there's an unspoken expectation that we'll be functionally monogamous at least until we can talk about it in person. There will be a more *ahem* detailed update later - hooray for filters.
    links )

    :(

    Monday, June 28th, 2010 14:50
    sofiaviolet: candy hearts from a prescription bottle (and the blue ones help me fall)

    Well, internets, I am definitely experiencing a depressive episode that exceeds my medication's ability to compensate. :(

    There are definitely some external components. Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse than Completely Random Brain Fuckery. I am probably experiencing a very extended sort of con drop, because I had 3+ weeks of New Orleans and parents and Doing All Of The Things (research, eating, shopping), 24 hours in Boston in which I had to Do All Of The Other Things (unpack, repack, work most of a day), then the con, and then more parents (they came up to Boston for a week to visit Ellie, so I got a few extra days with them post-con). Nothing to do but go to work, and I'm still part-time until the 5th.

    It is also approaching five years since I was raped. (formulated to be hypo-trigger-genic) )

    I am dwelling on it because I promised to make an item for [livejournal.com profile] shadesong's Blogathon auction (I made three things last year). She always blogs for BARCC, but the theme for this year's items is the strength/resilience of survivors. I have no idea what I'm going to make, and the openness of the theme doesn't actually help (last year, I used [livejournal.com profile] shadesong's fiction for prompts).

    I probably should have made the Blogathon piece while I was in New Orleans. (there are some details here, maybe triggers) )

    So my plan for the rest of the afternoon had been to catch up on my dreamroll, which I have not checked since Friday because spoons, but I think what I will actually do after I post this is play with my boxes of beads and whatnot. See what comes up.

    links

    Friday, May 21st, 2010 03:15
    sofiaviolet: stone steps with moss (stone steps)
    I Refuse To Dignify This With A Title by [livejournal.com profile] reni_days (Panic, Brendon/Spencer, in which Brendon is a rock star and Spencer writes fic about him, and then they fall in love)

    FEMINIST HULK MAKE TWITTER FUN

    Boston Area Rape Crisis Center blog: How You Can Help

    [community profile] kink_bingo: kinky vid recs

    DREAMWIDTH: WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

    [personal profile] copperbadge: It did get me thinking about fanfic in a slightly more abstracted way, and about why this current debate over it really enrages me so much. I don't normally weigh in on wanky matters, so to get me to make a statement about it, it must really have got under my skin. Now I think I know why.

    [personal profile] recessional: Criminal Minds: London, 1435

    You can do something about street harassment (makes me want an iPhone)

    [personal profile] blushingflower in [community profile] kink_bingo:
    Hi! The [community profile] kink_bingo mods asked me to write an essay as part of the lead-up to the next round. You'll be seeing several more pieces in the coming days.

    I told the mods I'd write about my own kink practice and how that relates to my interaction with kink fic. Which is of course a lot easier to say than to do.

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