sofiaviolet: dotted lines forming squares and rectangles (dotted line)
ILU-486
HELLO THERE. WE HEARD U NEED THIS.
DON’T WORRY, WE LOVE YOU.
EVERY PART OF YOU BELONGS TO YOU.


***

I'm going to give you some breathing room after that short story.

[personal profile] epershand: Feminism, sex-positivity, and sexual prescriptivism
Normative people are not the problem. The systems that describe the norm, coerce people into it, and punish those who don't comply, are the problem. People (and companies, cough legos reference cough) are a problem to the extent that they engage in enforcement and punishment. But compliance with a rule doesn't necessarily imply being duped by it. And enforcement and punishment can come just as often and just as vindictively in defense of counter-cultural norms.

What is cultural appropriation
What’s being appropriated in *cultural appropriation* isn’t the things themselves — the images, stories, artefacts, themes, etc. — it’s the capacity of people of oppressed groups to determine the meaning, scope, usage, and future of those things. Cultural appropriation involves taking over peoples’ control over representations of themselves. Cultural appropriation is an attack on cultural autonomy and self-determination, backed up by historically constructed domination.
sofiaviolet: barcode for sofiaviolet: 688701019646 (barcode)
... or so sayeth the boyfriend, about my saving of correspondence.

Today I decided to configure Mail to serve as a local backup for my Google-Apps-For-Your-Domain account (I think it's working? yay). Backing up that inbox will also back up all my other GAFYD accounts, my undergraduate and graduate school email, and my old Gmail accounts,* so I really hope it works. (And then Time Machine will back up my backup. Whee.)

because nobody but me cares about my email from 2003 )

Link is unrelated to the above blathering.

[personal profile] laughingrat: We're not all liberals
Cataloging as a tool for social (in)justice: In EBSCO's Academic Search Complete, articles discussing women's anger at men for actual, real-life, systemic violence and discrimination towards women are given the "MISANDRY" subject label, implying that calling out oppressive behaviors is "man-hating" and unreasonable. Articles about these actual, real-life, systemic crimes--rape, spouse abuse, incest, sexual harassment, etc.--are not, however, given the subject heading "MISOGYNY," despite research on an ongoing basis demonstrating that violence against marginalized persons is absolutely a systemic, not an individual, issue.

(no subject)

Saturday, June 18th, 2011 12:30
sofiaviolet: barcode for sofiaviolet: 688701019646 (barcode)
  • [personal profile] helens78: I didn't really want to post this, but, well. I think I have to.
    "PROMPT REQUESTS SWEET FRIENDSHIP OR G-RATED ROMANCE; FILL IS SET IN BDSM CLUB."

    I get the whole "want one thing from a prompt, get something radically different" thing, and I understand that FYFF macros are frequently sarcastic or ironic. In this case, though, it's by no means the joke premise that I'm objecting to. It's the wording of the joke itself.

    It's a joke, but it's one that, intentionally or no, highlights and reinforces a lot of stereotypes about BDSM -- none of them good. It's kink-shaming, and it's full of negative ideas I can't just let stand without saying something.
  • [personal profile] thingswithwings: some thoughts on manpain. um. many thoughts on manpain, actually.
    I started writing some vidder's notes for that vid about manpain that I made, and they just got longer and longer, and more and more speculative and meta-y, and eventually I had to give up on making them notes and make them into their own separate post about manpain. So, for those who are interested in my opinion on manpain, here it is! For those who just want to watch the vid, I have neatly cordoned this meta off from the vid so that you don't have to care about it. It's almost unforgivably long, so do feel free to skip.
  • sofiaviolet: art nouveau rose (rose nouveau)

    Notes

    ... oops? Kind of fell off the face of the earth there. I've been fine, just busy.

    Question

    For how many days after having an IUD inserted can one expect to have cramps? (IUD went in Tuesday evening. By Friday, I was down from NSAIDs-like-clockwork to NSAIDs-as-needed, but I'm still having to take something at least once a day. Seems to still be in place and I have had no bleeding/spotting whatsoever, so I am not worried, just annoyed.)

    Training

    Survivor Speakers Bureau )

    Links

    four: attraction, sexism, privacy, appropriation )

    Plans

    None for tonight; weekly Battletech got canceled due to GM illness. Tomorrow I have a few errands to run after work. I also have room-cleaning and furniture-moving to do before my mom arrives on Saturday.

    (no subject)

    Friday, May 13th, 2011 20:29
    sofiaviolet: road signs in Boston: Storrow Dr., Callahan Tunnel, surface artery, detour (Boston)

    21 Days of Dreamwidth

    17. How many people on your reading list do you know IRL?

    By my count, 51. 25% - not bad.

    18. What don't you talk about here, either because it's too personal or because you don't have the energy?

    Not much is too personal - I've used my journaling environment as a support group for dealing with depression and sexual assault. Energy is a much bigger constraint on my posting (thanks, depression!), although most of the things I deliberately leave out are omitted because I know I'm writing for an audience that demands a smidgen of entertainment value.

    19. Any questions from the audience?

    Ask and I will answer.

    being nice to one another


    THE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL MEME

    my thread

    Links

  • Obsidian Wings: The Women Men Don't See
    Why is it that of all possible human topics, the one that conservative religious people of different faiths agree on is strict gender roles?
  • Plans

    I might hit a couple of garage sales tomorrow morning, if I can haul myself out of bed. Sunday is the Mob meeting/demo and the JP picnic munch.
    sofiaviolet: MS Paint person with fist raised, with text: "<strong>fight all the oppressions!</strong>" (fight all the oppressions!)

    Recently

    MCR show in Boston was great! I was one person back but used a couple of crowd surges during Thursday's set and the break before MCR to wedge myself into a little opening on the barrier. Ellie came late, so we met up afterward and went to IHOP because we were both starving. (I had to bail on [personal profile] tuesdaysgone and skip the Philly show because I was so exhausted, and because some combination of lights/noise/hunger gave me a terrible headache.)

    Boston Slutwalk! I met up with a bunch of people I know mainly via Mob. We marched (super powerful experience! Almost an altered state, with an abnormal boost to my lung capacity akin to what I experience at concerts), there were some amazing speeches (finally got to hear [livejournal.com profile] shadesong give a survivor speech. I put myself at the front of the crowd pretty much directly in front of her, because she had posted about feeling stressed about this particular speech and I wanted to guarantee a known-friendly face in case that would help), and then it started raining, so I went with two friends to the workshop space, where we took the responsibility of setting up chairs and enjoyed some relaxation time. I stayed for three workshops before I had to bail for food.

    [community profile] thefridayfive

    questions about love and marriage )

    Plans

    I need to pack tomorrow. On Monday, I fly into Baltimore (arriving around 3:15). Concert Tuesday, then back to Boston on Wednesday.

    I am not thinking about August until I get back from D.C. (I cannot; I am too scatterbrained to hold that many plans in my head at once), but I am determined to celebrate our anniversary either by dragging Cory to Boston or schlepping myself to Grand Forks again, which involves lots of scheduling and stalking the internet for best airfare.

    (no subject)

    Saturday, April 30th, 2011 11:48
    sofiaviolet: (girls rock)

    21 Days of Dreamwidth

    5. How about when you're not on the computer?

    Work. Concerts. Etc. My offline social life is mainly arranged over the internet, although I do have random encounters with some of my friends on the Orange Line (the benefits of going to the same school and living in the same area).

    6. What do you wish people who read your journal knew about you?

    ... you people probably know more about me that anyone except maybe my sister and my boyfriend.

    Links

    kink, ad-supported devices, mental illness and medication, filk, reproductive rights )

    Plans

    Capture the flag, followed by ice cream. Everybody cheer for JP! We are going to destroy Camberville.

    (no subject)

    Thursday, March 17th, 2011 00:25
    sofiaviolet: manneqiun feet and a sign that says Sale (shopping)
    Interview went well, whee!

  • Bostonography: Three-decker diffusion
    I have a fondness for triple-deckers now that I live in one.

  • [personal profile] synecdochic: [fic] P3, "on a bed where the moon has been sweating"
    Go. Read. You don't need to know anything about the fandom or the characters to love this.

  • The Pursuit of Harpyness: bisexual invisibility: a new report
    The San Francisco Human Rights Commission LGBT Advisory Committee has recently released a report, Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations (PDF) that reviews the existing research on bisexuality as a sexual orientation and discusses the experience of bisexuals within the queer community and society at large.
  • [personal profile] cluegirl: An Open Letter to the Men of America and the World, on the Subject of My Feminism;
    In short, gentlemen of the world, I am a feminist because I respect you more than the society in which we live respects you. And because I see no reason whatsoever why you could not, or should not live up to that respect. Some of you do so, and regularly. Some of you exceed my respect, and impress me all the time. But others of you persist in coasting along at the level of the lowest common denominator, making cheap jokes, taking cheap shots, settling for cheap sexual encounters, and generally cheapening yourselves for the illusion of tribal acceptance, for the notion that the bros will somehow back you up when it counts, and so the hos don't matter much. Even though you know, deep down, that you're better than that.

    I know you're better than that too, and I will accept no bullshite excuses for acting like a coward, like a bully, like a jerk, like a rapist, like a liar, like a user, like a player, like a creep. You're better than that, and I will accept nothing less than your best from you.

    And that is why I will always be a feminist.
  • links

    Monday, January 10th, 2011 21:48
    sofiaviolet: a pair of sexy red heels on a hardwood floor (red shoes)
  • The Hathor Legacy: If audiences don’t want women as leads, why did Aliens succeed?
    Let’s compare and contrast a few female leads and see if we get a pattern. As I said above, we don’t have enough to consider this statistical, but we’re just looking for a starting point. Besides Aliens, I can think of one other female-led action movie that was successful enough to at least spawn a franchise: Underworld (Kate Beckinsale). And two female-led movies regarded as financial disappointments would be Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron) and Catwoman (Halle Berry) – neither of which even made back their budgets on the gross revenues.
  • Tiger Beatdown: Why I Didn’t Delete Tiger Beatdown
    But here’s the thing. Here’s why I’m not deleting Tiger Beatdown: They only do it if you’re good. Seriously. They only do it if your work reaches people, and convinces people, and if they literally cannot frame an opposing argument that they think might have any chance of winning. They can’t beat you in an argument; that’s why they abuse you, that’s why they try to make you feel as worthless and self-loathing and incapable of self-defense as any other abused person, that’s why they abuse you till you can’t work or even think about anything but being abused, that’s why they try to make you believe that it won’t stop till you stop publishing or die. That’s why they make you want to stop publishing. Or make you want to die. Because after all of it, after all the “bitch” and “cunt” and “die” and “dyke” and “ugly” and “smoker” (???) and “I’monna rape ye, woman,” there is actually one threat scarier than ALL of that: The threat that you’re right, and you’re going to win. And that’s the threat that you pose.
  • The Pursuit of Harpyness: Signs and Wonders
    Unfortunately, after six months of Skype and e-mails, and spending quite a bit of money to visit him, I began to get the feeling that while things had improved somewhat over the past three years, they hadn’t improved enough. He says he wants to move back to New York soon…but, well, he told me the same thing three years ago. His shit is slightly more together, life-wise, but it turns out he’s not a whole hell of a lot more emotionally available. I kept extending myself, but he was doing a pretty crap job of meeting me halfway. He tends to be a brooder, and while dealing with his issues, likes to retreat into complete radio silence. Being met with a week or two of zero communication feels horrible when you’re in a long-distance relationship—especially when you notice that he updates his FB page, thus eliminating the possible explanation that he has died or is trapped under something heavy and can’t get to his computer.
  • Derangement and Description: This comic is brought to you by the letters E, A, and D

  • [personal profile] tim: Cause and Effect: Jared Loughner, Chinese Mothers, and Plausible Deniability
    The conspiracy of silence in which Chua participates, and which psychologist Alice Miller (for example, in her book For Your Own Good) has written about, involves perpetuating this myth: What adults do to you is for your own good. Be grateful for it, and suck it up, cupcake. It's a politically useful myth. Kids who internalize it turn into obedient workers (bosses naturally replace parents) and into supporters of authoritarian politicians. They also tend to turn into bullying parents themselves. And the cycle goes on. But people like Chua aren't helping break it. Read Chua's essay while asking: "What is it doing for her to treat her children in all of the ways she describes?" This is a question she never seems to ask herself. But it's a question that would decenter her perspective and show that claiming that coercion is "for your own good" is the act of psychological coercion that enables all others.
  • [personal profile] flourish: Mental illness & Jared Loughner
    Here is a summation of this: Schizophrenia may have been one of the factors leading to Jared Loughner's actions - I don't know - but it is not enough to say "well, he had schizophrenia," and shrug it off, as though there are no other factors. That's like saying of a rapist, "well, he's a man," and considering that the end of the discussion - no, actually, it's even worse. 99% of rapists are male. In comparison, only about 10% of people who commit homicide have schizophrenic disorders, or possibly less. And yet, if I were to make a statement like "Oh, well, he's a man - probably completely pumped with testosterone - that's all we need to know to explain why he's a rapist," people would (rightly) have my head on a pike. If I make a statement like "Well, she's schizophrenic - probably having delusions at the time - that's all we need to know to explain why she's a murderer," nobody gives a damn.
  • link backlog

    Tuesday, January 4th, 2011 19:44
    sofiaviolet: wrought-iron fence and crumbling tomb in St. Louis No. 1 in New Orleans (so goth i hang out in graveyards)
    Actual update soon, I hope.

    8 links )

    6 links

    Tuesday, December 7th, 2010 19:21
    sofiaviolet: animated Hello Kitty-as-Cthulhu (Hello Cthulhu)
  • The Hathor Legacy: It’s just a show. Really?
    The truth is, pop culture is not just fun and games, and that’s why “It’s not just a show” is bullshit. Culture – and current culture has always been pop culture, and always will be – is the medium through which the privileged people educate all the other sorts of people on how they are supposed to behave so as to inconvenience the privileged the least they can with their undesirable yet necessary presence. I really am supposed to not only like flowers, but to accept them in lieu of kept promises and fidelity – not because it’s on TV but because that would be ever so convenient for uncaring and cheating men. What the person who criticizes me for diverging from TV portrayals of my gender is really saying is: “Don’t you know this is your responsibility? Even if you don’t like flowers, you still need to like the damn flowers because men need their women to be plug ‘n’ play, easily replaced! Men have nations to conquer and important things to do. They can’t be bogged down with trying to remember what each new current girlfriend likes, which is why it’s so crucial you all like exactly the same shit! Jeez, you selfish bitch!”
  • 16 Impacts of Sexual Assault
    As a victim of sexual assault I have had my life turned upside down, my beliefs and hopes decimated and my sense of self devastated. In trying to make sense of what happened to me, I have struggled overwhelmingly with a sense of isolation, fragmentation and dislocation. Despite reporting the assault to the police, despite excellent counselling and support services and despite an extraordinarily patient and supportive family, I have often felt unable to articulate, or be heard on, the devastation and upheaval that sexual assault continues to create for me everyday.
  • Dopp Juice: A Genderplayful Marketplace – Do you want it?
    I want to build an online marketplace for gender-variant clothing solutions.

    Not a store where I sell to you, but a service like Etsy and Ebay where we sell to each other, in a focused, supportive community. And while we’re at it, we also trade all sorts of tips and inspirations on how best to look the way we want, gender-be-damned.
  • [personal profile] synecdochic: Tip for chronic-pain issues
    If you have chronic pain of the muscle/stiffness sort, or suffer from muscle cramps in the middle of the night that wake you, start sleeping with an unwrapped bar of soap in bed with you.
  • [personal profile] laughingrat: (no subject)
    One wonders where Marc Lepine got the idea, in 1989, that he was entitled to go to engineering school regardless of his lack of qualifications, but that women who were qualified to go were not similarly entitled. One wonders where he got his tremendous sense of privilege, his tremendous sense of outrage, and the idea that if he, a man, was sufficiently angry at women, the acceptable answer was to terrorize and murder them.
  • [personal profile] copperbadge: (no subject)
    To sum up: when people ask you for money, be critical. Know who's getting your money, know what they believe, and if you can't get hard facts, be suspicious. Most charities are listed on charitynavigator.org and have a website; they will have mission statements and should have financial information.
  • (no subject)

    Wednesday, October 13th, 2010 23:10
    sofiaviolet: roses are #ff0000 [red] (roses are #ff0000)

    Recently

    Went to a wedding on Saturday (it was lovely), then to the afterparty (where I spent a long time explaining my research to my brand new friend Jeremy). Groceries Sunday; Ellie wanted to try a new grocery store that's closer than our usual, but it's a bit more expensive, missing various items we use regularly, and really annoying to shop at. Monday evening, after Ellie got back from buying several hundred pounds of lumber in New Hampshire, we went to the mall. Ellie got a coat and a shirt, but not the pants she was actually looking for. I got a dress for my Halloween costume and pants for future MCR concerts - both on clearance, woooo! (And in online shopping news, I bought a Turkish spindle and a colorful batt called Show Pony.)

    In schmoopy relationship news, Cory and I are apparently taking a short trip to Minneapolis (I predict some squabbling over road trip music; we have very different philosophies about music in general). Also, you can see my increased comfort in this relationship by the contents of my suitcase: last time, I packed dresses and shoes and makeup. This time I am packing, uh idk, some clothes? and also some fiber. And a surprise! (because I feel like that would be a nice thing to do), so help me think up TSA-approved surprises? Also also: he knows this journal exists and he knows exactly where it is and I make mostly public posts - and yet he refuses to read it. IDGI.

    Links

    Read more... )
    sofiaviolet: awesome (awesome)

    Recently

    I can haz purple hair! No pictures yet because I am lazy, but it does not suck. (The purple streak does fade rather quickly to nearly black as you move away from my scalp, but given how many times it had been dyed before these shenanigans, I can't say I'm surprised.)

    Have been approved to take another week off work, sometime between mid October and Thanksgiving (has to be before Thanksgiving because $winterholiday retail season is likely to constrain the amount of time C. has for me). Now to find a suitably cheap plane ticket. On the one hand, yay I get to see my boyfriend again! On the other... and then I won't see him until some time in 2011.

    Links

    9 links )
    sofiaviolet: lol internets (<3 internets)

    Notes

    Not dead! Back in Boston since Saturday, and already caught up on things!

    Recently

    Just finished eating half the curry I made tonight; the other half is in the fridge. I am going to bring it to work tomorrow. Leftovers for lunch - it's almost like I'm a real grown-up!

    Ellie and I went to the mall yesterday. We were supposed to get clothes for her. Instead, we got clothes for me. /o\ On the other hand, Hello Kitty rain boots in grown-up sizes, fuck yes.

    I continue to experiment with purple hair. Attempt 3 (dark purple over failed single-process bleach-and-purple) is the best yet but still not quite right.

    Grand Forks

    Spent nearly every waking moment with C., got to see my family, consumed much media. Was not really online. )

    Relationship Stuff

    :D! )

    We're planning more visits, and I convinced C. to install Skype. But I think my journal will stop being All About My Boyfriend now; he'll show up from time to time along with other important people in my life.

    Memery

    From Ask Me Anything:

    Looking back, are you comfortable with the way you reacted when your sister came out to you?

    Not really. :( I could have done more. I am especially disappointed with how little help I was to her in 2006/2007, her last year of high school, while she was trying to figure things out. True, I didn't have nearly as much knowledge of gender and trans* issues then, but I probably still could have been more supportive than I actually was.

    But as far as her actual coming-out? I think I did okay then, although I didn't adjust to name-and-pronouns as fast as I would have liked, even if there is a specific reason for it (trying not to out her to Mom and Dad before she had the chance to tell them herself).

    Links

    10 links )

    Plans

    Figure out Netflix. Buy more $5 vermouth for cooking.

    (no subject)

    Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 23:57
    sofiaviolet: a pair of sexy red heels on a hardwood floor (red shoes)
    OH GOD FINALLY I AM CAUGHT UP. I only had to go to skip=620 to do it.

    Apologies for my epic failure at updating; I don't like to post when I'm behind on my reading. And speaking of my dreamroll... I am having to cut down on my subscriptions because I am overwhelmed. Bleh full-time job. I love my work, but I also love my internets. It is a sad time for me.

    Important things:

    • Every year, [livejournal.com profile] shadesong does Blogathon for the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center. Her fundraising includes a charity auction; I have three pieces in the mix this year: Chains and Crippling Shoes, We Met in February, and The Awful Feeling of Knowing You Don't Remember No. Plus lots of other really lovely things that you should go and bid on!
    • I am going to Grand Forks! I'll be staying with C. and will also take the opportunity to hang out with Ellen and Greg, since I missed them in New Orleans this year. I am not sure what that will do to my internet time: on the one hand, C. and I will probably be very occupied with each other, but on the other hand, I can easily see us just chilling together with our laptops for a little while every day. At any rate, I will be out of Boston from August 14th to August 21st.
    • Speaking of C., we are now officially in a relationship! We put it on Facebook and everything. Current relationship status is "open" although there's an unspoken expectation that we'll be functionally monogamous at least until we can talk about it in person. There will be a more *ahem* detailed update later - hooray for filters.
    links )

    links

    Friday, May 21st, 2010 03:15
    sofiaviolet: stone steps with moss (stone steps)
    I Refuse To Dignify This With A Title by [livejournal.com profile] reni_days (Panic, Brendon/Spencer, in which Brendon is a rock star and Spencer writes fic about him, and then they fall in love)

    FEMINIST HULK MAKE TWITTER FUN

    Boston Area Rape Crisis Center blog: How You Can Help

    [community profile] kink_bingo: kinky vid recs

    DREAMWIDTH: WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

    [personal profile] copperbadge: It did get me thinking about fanfic in a slightly more abstracted way, and about why this current debate over it really enrages me so much. I don't normally weigh in on wanky matters, so to get me to make a statement about it, it must really have got under my skin. Now I think I know why.

    [personal profile] recessional: Criminal Minds: London, 1435

    You can do something about street harassment (makes me want an iPhone)

    [personal profile] blushingflower in [community profile] kink_bingo:
    Hi! The [community profile] kink_bingo mods asked me to write an essay as part of the lead-up to the next round. You'll be seeing several more pieces in the coming days.

    I told the mods I'd write about my own kink practice and how that relates to my interaction with kink fic. Which is of course a lot easier to say than to do.

    (no subject)

    Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 21:37
    sofiaviolet: drawing of three violets and three leaves (Default)
    Best of 2009

    December 3rd: article

    I'm pretty tempted to do a fic recs post or something, but poor planning on my part means that's not happening. Similarly, you don't get actual specific articles, just blog recs. Three, since it's the 3rd.

    I've been really loving [syndicated profile] geekfeminism_feed, which I have been reading since its inception, pretty much. I've also been reading [syndicated profile] thecurvature_feed for a while now, and [syndicated profile] tiger_beatdown_feed recently.

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